Thanks to Mallory MacGill for drawing this for me so that I will never forget the day that 8 wonderful people lay their hands on me in prayer as I began the process of stepping into God's plan for me to move to the Dominican Republic.  May I never forget.  May God bless all those who have helped me thus far.

Counting My Blessings

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear.... And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.  For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.  But seek His kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.  Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.  Sell your possessions and give to the poor.  Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Luke 12:22; 29-34

I often find myself worrying... While I know deep down that God will provide, I need to be reminded of His goodness, reminded of all that I have to be thankful for, and reminded that worrying does not help.  It's crazy, really, once I sit back and think about all of His many blessings, but unfortunately, like the Israelites in the Old Testament, I am forgetful.  I have to be reminded every day of His goodness.  I have to notice, even, that I am not fully trusting.  Every Day.

At Bible Study on Thursday, we talked about places in our lives where we have a hard time trusting God... my "places" all surround trusting how abundant and powerful God is.  I believe He is both of those, but I have a hard time really "touching" that abundance or understanding it fully.  During the Bible Study, one of the other leaders mentioned that when we have a hard time trusting, we need to start showing our gratefulness... So, since then, I've tried to open my eyes to what God has done... and when I did that, His abundance became SO evident and so much more real.

These last few days with my eyes open, I have seen so many blessings -- BIG and small... that help me continue to see God's hands in this process.  I am so grateful for the inner peace that He has given me since my decision to go to the Dominican full-time, the people He has constantly placed around me, and the little things that He has made easier just because.

COUNTING MY BLESSINGS (just in the last two days...)

• I had a busy week at work with Winter Conferences with all of the freshmen and their parents, long Mock Trial practices, and a looming Yearbook deadline.  God provided me with energy, a faculty fellow to teach my classes, a clear mind, and small breaks.  I laughed a lot and even in the midst of long days, God was right there with me!
• I received an email about possible supporters from a pastor that I have never met in person.  God provides abundantly and is working for our good even when we physically can't.
• I have run into or spoken to multiple people who want to support me... people who I never expected would want to, people I haven't seen in ages, and some people I just met.  God is at work!
• I was reminded of the help provided to me earlier in the week by my "little" helpers (ages 2 and 4) who helped add stamps and close envelopes. God is good!
• I received a drawing from one of my students reminding me of the night that my group of prayer warriors prayed over me as I began this process.  God is Powerful and He is creative too! (I will post the drawing soon...)
• I remember the two unexpected texts that I received from a student and from a friend speaking truth about the places where I feel weak.  
• I have a dinner tonight.  I had the SAT this morning.  God gave me 2 testers who only were taking 1 subject test, allowing me to leave at 9:30am instead of 1:00pm and get some of the tasks done that I would've otherwise been rushed to do.  God is helpful!
• I am surrounded each moment by people who will listen, who care about me, and who love the Lord.  God knows just what I need! 

 May God help us not worry.  May we look for Him.  And may we see glimpses of just what an amazing God we serve each and every day.

God's Voice

Every Friday my school has a chapel service.  I was struck by a couple of the things that the speaker talked about during last Friday's chapel.  The biggest, though was a story that he told of his daughter who was dyslexic and thus growing up, often confused words and meanings of words.  He said that this happened so many times through the years, that he now understands what she means even when she makes mistakes.  He knows her so well, in fact, that he doesn't have to try hard to understand what his daughter is trying to say.  I imagine that God expects the same for us.  I am stretched each day to get to know Him more, to be in such relationship with Him that even when He whispers or speaks through parables or dreams or through others, I hear His voice clearly.  I am challenged to read more, to speak to Him more, and to know Him better.  I pray that I would continue to seek Him in all that I do, so that even when others may not hear Him, I am able to hear His voice more clearly than ever.

REMEMBERING...

 (This past summer, I worked very closely with these three kids.  The work that the missionaries did to help their family to safety, breathe the Word of God to their mother, and love them through their actions was truly an amazing gift from God. I pray that God keeps them safe and continues to show Himself to them through those around them.)

He Has Died, He Is Risen, He Will Come Again

Each Sunday at Church before receiving communion, we say these words.... "Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again."  Today, it struck me in a way that is unique from other Sundays.  I mean it's pretty profound to think that Christ died for us so many years ago.  He gave up his life for us so that we could be washed clean and live our lives for Him.  Then, after dying He rose!  He rose from the depths of death.  And, thanks be to God... He will come again.  Wrapped up in this phrase that we say each Sunday, we declare not only our Christian belief in Christ's death, life and resurrection, but we declare our practical belief in the death of our old self, the rising up of our new self, and the hope that we have in this world because we know of his return.

Over the past week, I have been struggling a lot with trusting God and His plan.  A few months ago, it was really easy to "feel" God's calling in the sense that I had just returned from being in the Dominican Republic, and I was still very emotionally "close" to my experience.  Months later, I am still with the same peace that God has called me to move and do His will in the Dominican Republic by sharing the gospel through education and working with children, yet my experiences there seem so far away.  What's closer are all of the details that have to be figured out before I leave.  While I know that God is calling me and He wouldn't call me and then leave me with things undone, the human side of me is scared, overwhelmed with all that I have to do before I leave, and out of energy at times to work full-time and prepare to go. 

This morning when the pastor stated the familiar phrase, "Christ has died. Christ is risen. Christ will come again," I was reminded of the truth that Christ has already planned out all of the details.  He is with me now... right beside me.  And, just like He will come again,  He will provide a way.

Please pray that God would continue to comfort me and that I would hold on to His truth, knowing that God is way bigger than any of the small details.

Christ HAS.

Christ IS.

Christ WILL

Undeserved Love

Imagine being loved in spite of the wrong we do and in spite of how insignificant or small we feel.  It's hard to imagine because in our human relationships, we want people to earn our love.  We expect that others will do things for us, say the right things to us or treat us in a way that deserves our love. 

BUT GOD!  He exemplifies a crazy love for us that truly is hard for our minds to grasp.  After all, He sent His son down to Earth to experience a pure, sinless life and then to die a cruel death so that we could be free of trying to live a life of perfection.  Thanks be to God that I don't have to be perfect.  Thanks be to God that there's nothing that I can do to make Him not love me anymore.  Thanks be to God that I cannot do anything that would make him love me any more or any less than He already does. 

Why then would I not want to live a life worshiping Him, dancing with joy in His presence and loving those around me -- even those who don't deserve it?  How can I not be in awe of the love that He chooses to show me?  How can I not at least try to emulate the love that He has for me to those in my life? 

In my readings through the Old Testament, I find myself now in 2 Samuel reading about David.  At this point (I'm in chapter 7), David has become king over all of Israel, he has moved the Ark of God to the City of David, David has established himself as King and as a lover of the Lord, and he has had many battles with the Philistines.  David's life is very interesting up until this point because he was just a little boy chosen by God to one day replace Saul as King.  He has been promised by God in 2 Samuel 7:12-15 that "[his] house and [his] kingdom will endure forever before [God] and; [his] throne will be established forever."  I think this is also a foreshadowing to Jesus coming and Him suffering for all of us.  Nathan, the prophet, is explaining to David that those who believe in Him will never lose God's love.  There is nothing at all that they could do to lose it. 

David's response to Nathan's revelation is one of pure humility, realizing that he is totally unworthy of God doing so much for Him.  After all, God has helped him tremendously by leading Him to defeat the Philistines over and over again, building Him a kingdom, and now promising that Jesus (His son) will come from David's lineage.  Furthermore, God has given David a wisdom that far surpasses most. 

I love that David remains humble and not greedy.  He recognizes that all that he has is undeserved and because of God.  In the chapter before, he is dancing with joy through the streets because the Ark of God is safe in the City of David.  He rejoices without shame!  What sticks out most to me is that as king, David glorifies God!  He takes the life that God has given him and serves God with all his heart.  He recognizes that God has given him his power, his stuff, his kingdom and his strength... and he rejoices in front of everyone!

My prayer as I finish up my last semester at Wesleyan and enter my next stage of life as a missionary is that God would grow me in rejoicing without shame, just like David!  While God made David a king, he has made me a teacher with a servant's heart.  All that I do is in His name!  I pray that each day I understand that my strength is His.  I pray that I am humbled before Him, always in awe of His immense power and the undeserved love that He extends to me each day in the gifts that He has given me.  And, I pray that those whom I am serving would draw closer to the Lord through me. 

Moving Forward in Faith

How exciting that today is the first day of a new year.  I woke up and checked twitter and immediately saw a tweet from Beth Moore (a wonderful author and Bible Study leader) who is about to embark on a few days of ministering to college-aged kids at the Passion Conference here in Atlanta. She, among others, will encourage them and hopefully get them fired up about the Lord.  It's crazy to think what we can do with modern technology.  I never thought I'd be following people on twitter, but pick the right people to follow, and we can get some pretty good inspirations in the morning.

Beth Moore's tweet was a praise to God on this first day of a new year: 

  

Glory to a great and merciful God who knew we'd need lots of new starts.  

To you, Lord!  You have carried us.  Carry us on! 

Isn't it true?  I am sure that throughout 2012 we had mess-ups, wanted some do-overs or simply are happy to have a new beginning today.  I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for 2013.  

Interestingly enough, I finished 1 Samuel this morning.  And, at the end of 1 Samuel, if you don't know, Saul (who ended up not honoring God with his life) killed himself, the Philistines fought a battle against the Israelites and won, and David, well David is still fighting for and loving the Lord with all of his heart!  I am excited to learn and study David's life over the next few books of the Old Testament. 

Also this morning, I came across some pretty good life lessons in my Bible True Identity: The Bible For Women.  I want to share them, as they reflect whole-heartedly how I want to live my life for the Lord. 

While the myth that we should "know" God's plan for our lives still floats around Christian circles, the truth is quite different.

• We live by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).  If we knew every aspect of God's plan for our lives, clearly labeled in triplicate form, why would we need faith?

• The moment of absolute certainty rarely comes.  Consider Abraham.  He didn't have a clue where he was going.  But he went anyway.  Think of Samuel, whom God called as a child.  Do you think a young boy understood the scope of God's plan for his life?  Certainly not. But these people moved forward in faith as did all the spiritual heroes.

• We must move forward.  In preparation, we pray and seek godly counsel.  We search the Scriptures and meditate on God's truths.  And then it comes time to decide.  To make a move.  We may not feel ready or certain, but God lovingly gives us a chance to flex our faith and trust him for the outcome.

Finally, my hope for 2013 is that I, along with my believing friends and family, will remain faithful to God and His plan for our lives by staying in His word and in His will.  I pray that we will keep our eyes open to where He is leading us and that we will not stray away from Him just because we don't fully understand His plans for us. And, I pray that we will keep seeking Him in every aspect of our lives! Amen.

Jeremiah 29:13  "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart!"