Reality does bite! I am going to re-write an abbreviated version of the post that I just almost finished before it got erased. I am a little frustrated, so please bear with me.
After being gone for almost the entire months of June and July, I have come home to reality. Television. Broken things in my house that need to be fixed. A desire to do other things than read my Bible when I wake up in the morning. The Internet. Facebook (I know it's a part of the internet, but it's a whole other beast.) A friend's engagement. Bills. All of my lack ofs. and Poor me's.
As a result, there were many times today when I was overwhelmed, down, confused, jealous, and overall distracted. And about an hour ago, I almost had a breakdown. But, after having been so much in an environment over the past two months where my norm was seeking God through reading throughout the day, talking to those around me about our faith and spiritual walk with God and about such people as Abraham and Paul, after having been away from such distractions for so much of my summer, the only thing that I could do was pray and ask God for His help.
The culture shock of being back here in the United States for less than 24 hours and already feeling the pressures of a world that in no way leans towards God, in a world that is controlled by everything that pulls on our time, our minds and our purpose, all I want to do is cling tighter to Him.
I can already tell, after just one day, that it's going to be hard. I thank God for my roommates over the summer, one of whom I will be memorizing Psalm 119 with over the next year. It's very long, and while I do believe it will probably be the hardest thing that I have ever learned, once I have it committed to my memory, it will help me through a lot...
Tonight, when I was feeling jealous, down, distracted, worried... I thought about the first part of Psalm 119 that I have memorized and then read the next few lines...
Blessed are those who are blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord.
Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek Him with a pure heart
Who also do no wrong but walk in His ways.
You have commanded your precepts be kept diligently
Oh that my ways may be kept steadfast in keeping your statutes
That is all I have memorized, but the next line says...
Then I shall not be put to shame, having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
And I stopped.
God's commandments.
I went over to Exodus and read the ten commandments. One. Do not have any other God's before me. Two. Do not have idols. Ten. Do not covet your neighbor's anything. (Basically don't be jealous.) Then, it says, "Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin." and then in verse 24, "In every place where I cause my name to be remembered I will come to you and bless you."
I need to be steadfast. Walk in the law of the Lord. Seek Him. Keep his statutes. Keep my eyes fixed on Him. Do Not put any other God (internet, tv, work) before Him. Don't be jealous of other's blessings. Know that God has gone before me. He will bless me.
This is what I need to make it in ReaLitY because without Him, ReaLiTY BiTes.
