War and Waiting

a few weeks ago...right before some vacation

I think about this a lot… and a lot lately.  What does it mean to live for God's glory?  What does it mean to be a missionary or put God first or to be a Christ follower?  The thoughts that go through my mind regularly make me doubt, fear, and wonder sometimes what am I doing here and am I doing this right?  

Are we doing this right?

Do others see and hear our love for Christ and our love for others?

I want to get to the end of my life and look back and be able to hear God tell me, "well done."  I want to look back on the last year and realize that nothing got in the way, I wasn't distracted, I was focused on Him through it all. Even the last week, the last day, the last hour.  I don't want to wake up and realize that I did this life wrong....that others didn't see Him through me.

And then, I wonder sometimes, "Is spiritual warfare real?"  

(Of course it is! I know!) 

We see in movies people making light of voodoo as the fantastical spiritual bad person.  Or there always being a wicked witch or scheming other that is always thinking about destruction and hurting those who are good. I think about that sometimes as I step out of Montellano for a few days and realize that I am always in my head.  I am always in my head.  The thoughts that go through my head, the doubts the questions… they don't all bring God glory… and sometimes they just make me stay still… kind of like I am paralyzed… and I do nothing. 

That's what makes me know that YES spiritual warfare is real.  The devil doesn't like what we are doing if we really are following the Lord, spreading His word, sharing His love with others, the devil does not like that.  He knows our weaknesses, our fears, our doubts and he feeds on them, and sometimes we take our eyes off of what God says and we feel more weak, more fearful, more doubtful until we are in a slump.  

Meanwhile, we continue walking through life, doing what God has called us to do in some sense, but our eyes are not completely on Him.  We concentrate on circumstance or we're consumed by our doubt or fears.  So, the devil thinks he won… 

Until we get a break, a moment, a vacation or even a friend who talks and prays with us, or a sermon and we get to step back and realize that those thoughts that have been all in our head, the questioning, the doubting, the fearing… it's not from God.  

Because we know that where we are weak, God is strong!  We know that God does not give us a spirit of fear and timidity but one of power… We know that there is nothing to doubt or even question about God because if we are focused on Him and reading His Word and not distracted, we will see that He is real, He is present, and He loves His children.  And we would not just repeat those words but believe them.  We would not be scared about the future and the what-ifs.  We would not be overwhelmed by the situations around us, but would be on our knees praying for them and meeting together to encourage one another.  We would remember that there is a war going on.  We would know by reading about what He has done in the past for others in the Bible, those around us and then by remembering what He's done for us, that while we wait God is working.  He sees.  We would remember that God is being patient not wanting anyone to perish.  He has brought us out of Egypt so many times.  He already knows what will happen.  He already knows.  He's got this.

And our focus is set straight again.  Not on circumstances or hard days, not on fears about the future, nor problems with those around us, but our focus is put back on Him.  We're in the Word more, praying and listening as we walk.  Then, walking while still not easy, becomes more manageable and less overwhelming.  Not doubting, not fearing not questioning… not so in our heads or against each other.  Because we realize that there is one who wants to destroy us... destroy Him.  But walking around us, with us...is God's army. God is fighting off the devil, giving us the words, working through us.  He's already won!

And we breathe.

And we find ourselves again living for His glory not because anything has changed in what we are doing, but because our eyes are focused again.

And then we remember what it means to be a Christian... to be a Christ follower, a little Christ, a missionary, the light in this dark world. And His light shines even more through us.

my prayer requests then...
Please come alongside me and pray for any area that is out of focus to focus again.  Please pray for physical, spiritual and emotional health.  Please, please pray for me to have balance in my life -- time at home, time out in the communities, and time spent filling up and doing fun things with the people around me.  Pray for these last weeks of VBS with pre-teens and for my time in the States.  I'll be headed back for two weeks on July 31st!  (First Atlanta and then Florida).

knowing what I know now...
And, I am praying for those struggling with the same war that exists in all parts of this dark world.  Praying that we may focus on God and in seeing the hope in Him, that we may be a light to all of those around us.  

May He have the glory!

He is waiting!