A Sigh of Relief

Sometimes, when I think of the magnitude of the work that there is to be done in this place and when I think of how small I am, I get a little overwhelmed and maybe even discouraged.  

I think to myself, Who am I to really help the illiterate kids, families or non-believers?  

Who am I to combat the issues of voodoo in this country or to help someone understand God's grace?  

I often wonder what is my place here?  

I am not a preacher, and yet I remember reading about when Jesus left Earth for the final time before ascending into Heaven in Matthew 28. He instructed his disciples to go make disciples of all nations.  And yet, I think who am I to make a disciple of someone?  Do I know Jesus well enough to disciple someone else?

I think to myself how God made me a teacher, and yet, I have experience teaching in high school and college, but God has me surrounded by elementary-aged kids.  How can I help these kids and their families who need so much help? And, isn't there a lot of pressure on teachers?  I remember James 3:1 that talks about teachers being judged more strictly for what we teach. I think who am I to influence the younger generation in their walk with Christ?

I am reminded of 1 John 3 where it talks about children of God and children of the devil. And I find myself in a community that has deep roots in voodoo and wonder, who am I to combat something that is so deeply rooted in the community that I live in now and that is so different from the community that I was born into.

I think about the believers around me who believe that salvation can be lost and who don't grasp the concept of grace nor God's complete forgiveness of all of our sins.  And I think about John 10:30 which talks about the fact that no one can ever snatch eternal life away from a believer. I think about Ephesians 2:8 which says that it is by grace that we have been saved through our faith.  How do I explain to someone God's free gift that He has given us?  How do I convince them that we cannot earn it nor lose it when their belief is so deeply engrained in them?  How do I get them to understand?

And then, I breathe.

I calm down.

I pick up the Word and I read.

I realize that all of my questions, my overwhelming feelings, my desire to change, my strong desire to help is completely paralyzed without God.  I can do nothing without Him.  God did not send me to this place to save people from their disbelief, to shake them into loving Him, to teach them out of poverty nor to deliver them from their evil traditions.  The key is that the Lord did send me here.  In fact, He was here first and already prepared a way for the people who will one day believe just like he prepared the way for the Israelites.  I am reminded of Deuteronomy 31:8 which says, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Another sigh of relief.

And when I feel so small that I realize that there is no way that I can do this, I am thankful that I don't have to.  He has come before me.  He has a plan.

The smaller I am, the greater He is and the greater work I will recognize that He is doing.  

Once again, the stress is lifting.  

And finally when I wonder why He has me here exactly, what is His plan for me and how can I truly please Him, I am grateful for the time that I spend memorizing verses, especially this week's verse which comes from Deuteronomy 10:12-13 that answers that question perfectly.

What does the Lord require of you?  To fear the Lord your God, walk in His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all of your heart and all of your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord.

Fear Him. Love Him. Serve Him. Obey His commandments.

I am relieved.

He will do the work.  He will bring non-believers close to Him.  He will give the resources necessary to educate those He's put in my community.  He'll free the devil-worshiping people that are so prevalent in the community in which I live.  He will teach me more and more about grace so that I can tell others.  He will do the work.  I just need to continue to fear and love and serve and obey Him.

Thanks be to God!