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| Right outside of the school where Makarios is located a little over a week ago when the river rose the first time. |
About a week ago…
It’s November 19, and I believe it started raining about 3 weeks ago or so. Yes, it is rainy season here. But from a girl who has spent the majority of the past 3 years in a different part of the island, away from mountains and big rivers, this is a new experience. And according to the neighbors, it is not normal. Four years ago, the river rose and flooded the poorest who cannot afford to live further away, it flooded the school and ruined many of the supplies and books, and it put within some a deep fear of future flooding.
Now, it’s raining like that again. The river is rising.
Today, I cannot imagine living in London or Seattle where the rainy season seems endless. The sun has not peeked out for more than a few days in the last 3-4 weeks.
In the moment I thanked God for those few moments of sun. I miss sun. I think I take the sun for granted sometimes.
The roads are getting worse, smaller amounts of rain cause flooding because of the sopping wet ground and the poor drainage systems. The river is high and sometimes rises when it isn’t even raining here because maybe up in the mountains where the river starts it is raining. Routine is broken. The bridge is threatening to break. The roads are eroding. Water is leaking through tin roofs. There are whispers of an earthquake a few days ago. Some people have had to clean out their houses sopping wet houses multiple times.
When will the storm cease?
The realities of the last week especially sit pretty heavy on my heart. I am in a new place where relationships are still just scratching the surface. What do I do? Most of the people whom I know well, the kids with whom I work, they are fine… mostly. But others, there are many others. They need help. How do I help?
I pray.
I sit.
I wait.
I hear knocks.
God answers.
Drive people to the hospital who are sick. Spend the night taking care of others. Welcome people into your home. Feed kids who have lost everything. Pray for the moms who left their kids to go out and sell their bodies. Wade through water to look for a boy and a girl whose mom is in the streets. Try to process. Pray for a woman in Chichigua who has holes in her roof and a dirt floor. Help move classroom items up up up so that the river won’t flood and ruin things like it did 4 years ago. Prepare for Bible Study still. Cancel it because the water is coming too fast. Read to kids as they wait in the church. Serve food. Sleep on the couch as she is recovering from a virus. Pray. Try to process all that is going on. Pray with a 19 year old non-believer, hoping that maybe God is working in her and that He will give me words to share with her the urgency of her knowing her Creator.
I question:
What about when this is all over?
How do we fix this?
How do we help build better roofs, better walls and better levies so that the bridges don’t overflow?
What in the world is God trying to tell us?
Is this rain every going to stop.
I remember:
I am an outsider.
I must be careful in how I help.
I feel:
...a tension between helping immediately and helping wisely, waiting and not doing enough, helping as an outsider and helping as a Christian the way Jesus would help and love and serve.
...helpless and wanting wise advice.
...caught in the middle.
I pray:
Lord, guide us.
I wait.
People are now finding refuge in the churches, being fed by military, the government and the local church. School is cancelled again.
More questions...
What will the rain look like tomorrow?
Will people need to sleep in the church tonight too?
What about the kids whose moms are not taking care of them?
What about those who don’t have dads or who couldn’t get their house dry enough before the next rain storm came in?
What about when it all stops?
What then?
Will people forget?
Will they go on with life without fixing the roads, the relationships, the communication?
What does God want me to learn from this?
What does He want us to learn through this?
He’s talking, screaming, yelling at us every day for the past 3 weeks, and the question is, Will we be still enough to listen?
I hear His voice.
Matthew 14:22-23
Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”
And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
I learn.
We’re imperfect. We make mistakes. Even when we are trying to help.
We are strangers here. We need wise advice and inside perspective.
We need Him. We are so weak. He is the One who is strong. He can overcome this.
Pray more. Pray with. Pray now!
Share truth.
Life is not supposed to be comfortable.
Don’t give up… even when we feel like it.
Sometimes it’s okay to sit.
It’s okay to wait.
We have to pray.
We never know when God will give us the opportunity to share truth. Be ready.
The same God who we pray to to end the rain, sent it. Look to Him for wisdom.
We lack Spiritual Wisdom and leadership. Ask God for it.
We lack wise decisions and patience. Pray for it.
I am… we are … SO broken.
We can’t fix anything. Only God can.
If we are willing He will use us.
Stay humble.
Don’t judge.
We are distracted.
There are LOTS of people who are lost and don’t know Him.
Share with them even if it is uncomfortable.
Do not conform.
Building relationships is important… especially when it’s not raining.
Do what we know how to do and do what the Holy Spirit leads us to do.
Be thankful for simple things like sun, a dry bed, a cement roof, people who share, the local church.
The local church that God has put in our path is great! Help them help others.
I have to believe that while in moments I question if the sun will come out, that it will. In the midst of the literal and the figurative storm, I have to believe that Jesus is just standing out in the sea with His hand outstretched encouraging me and others not to be afraid, to focus, to walk. I find myself slipping looking ahead at the waves and scared. I doubt. What is going on? I don’t know how to do this. I need direction. I want to turn back, quit, re-do it? I want wise guidance. Where is the sun? When will it come out again?
And it is so clear…
Adrienne, I need you to know...
I AM here, He whispers. I AM here. I guide you. I lead you. You cannot see ahead. You may not understand why or when, but trust me. I lead you hear. My hand is outstretched. I can see where you cannot. I know why when you do not. Trust me. There will be sun, in my timing.
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