Monday, September 19, 2016

Small Tomatoes

Over the past few months, my roommates and I have enjoyed the ups and downs of gardening.  We've youtubed and googled what it's supposed to be like, how long it's supposed to take, and how we know if it is healthy or not. We've planted tomatoes, peppers, sweet potato and even attempted at planting an avocado. (Yes, I know it's a tree… and yes, I know that we don't have a yard. But we eat so much avocado.)  Anyway, after all of that "planting" and after even attempting to compost… (ugh, the smell), we finally began to see some yellow flowers begin to bloom on the tomato plants. And eventually were blessed with some tiny round tomatoes and some long tomatoes that have a bit of a kick to them.  Everything else?  Well it mostly all died… some because I didn't understand how to "prune correctly," some because of the heat and others because of some little white insects that seem to like the stem of our plant. It won't surprise me if our last tomato plant will have to be plucked soon. It's just so incredibly hot here, and we are just so incredibly new at this gardening thing.  But the tomatoes in the meantime have been wonderful to eat and watching the growth has been exciting too.  And I'm looking forward to round number two.

I can see the relationships deepening with the people who I get to see on a regular basis. At school, I think I have gained the trust and respect of many teachers.  In the community, I notice that people are more comfortable and I'm becoming not as much of an outsider anymore.  At home, life has settled down and I'm getting into a routine. I find myself still praying for patience, but not having to do so quite as much as months ago. Whether spending time with other American missionaries, visiting dominicans in their homes or working at the Mak school, I am more and more feeling among friends and not strangers and seeing the grace God has on me in letting me be a part of His work!

The days blur together sometimes.  I really don't have time for pictures nor do I even think about it in the midst of just being, so I'll try to describe the best that I can some of the moments that stick out most in my head over the past month so that you can get a little glimpse of my days and how God is working here.

I walk out of my house to the highway and catch a "guagua…" or van.  Squished between about 15 of my nicest unknown friends, I ride up the hill about 5 minutes and get off at the entrance to "tupe".  I pay 20 pesos (about 50 cents) and cross the street to where some "motoconchos" are waiting under a big sign to give a ride. I motion for one of them and hop on the motorcycle, backpack on my back, plastic container with reading materials in my hand, and a full water bottle.  We ride about 5 minutes or so on a bumpy dirt road passing cows, sometimes pigs and some small houses on the way.  The view to the left is breath-taking. Far off mountains.  Wow! Eventually, the familiar tin and wooden houses come into view on the left. Someone is picking cherries from the cherry tree.  I give the driver 25 pesos, hop off and walk towards the back of the community, stopping a lot along the way to a many "Bon jou" to my haitian friends.  It's quiet.  All of the kids are at school.  The men who have work are gone and the women are washing clothes, cooking, or chatting on their porches.  

It's about 10:00am.   I'm sitting on a plastic chair outside of S.'s house in a narrow concrete path.  She decides to sit on the ground today.  We're leaning up against the tin house next to us.  It's time for a reading lesson.  She's a bit younger than I am and doesn't know how to read.  She loves Jesus, but cannot read her Bible.  Her Bible is in Creole, but she wants to learn to read Spanish first.  We've spent the whole summer concentrating on vowels… how to write them, how they sound and when we hear them in words.  We are working on how to think.  We haven't met since before I left for the United States, she hasn't been studying and yet the woman who said that her head is hard, remembers.  She remembers what we've gone over.  She can even think critically to "read" some words that have vowels in them.  It's time to move on.  She's ready for consonants and the next week, I'll get to work with her inside her house with some little ones interrupting every 5 minutes… wanting to be a part. Our relationship is growing deeper.  She opens up about prayers for her unsaved family, expresses her recent feelings of loneliness because her husband has been working in another town leaving her alone at night, and asks for prayers for her health caused by low iron.

I find myself sitting in the main room of a small (yet, one of the biggest) blue house in Chichigua.  Rain is pouring down on the tin roof.  It's leaking a bit in the bedroom.  The two boys go to sleep and the little girl (a tiny 2 year old) falls asleep in my lap.  I get good good conversation with D.  She offers me food… rice and chicken (from her plate that she hasn't touched yet).  I eat a little knowing that this may be all she has today and that it would be rude to say no. And we talk about family about how she got there, about her story.  It's the first time I've been offered food in this community.  The first time that I've gotten to know her on a deeper level and that she's asked me about my family and story.

It's a Monday afternoon.  I'm sitting on my couch with my roommate Jenna and Lily, a friend and fellow teacher from Makarios.  During the Summer Lily asked us to study the Bible with her this year.  So, we'll be working with her and learning together by going through Fundamentals of the Faith by John McArthur.  We read, are reminded of the holiness of the Bible, the power of God's Word and how it came to be.  We listen to half of a sermon and reflect on the gift that we have by being able to read words that God breathed.

We are at Bible Study sitting in a shady spot between a new house that is being built and the church in Chichigua.  We sit on plastic chairs, some sit on the ground.  There are 4 of us. Three are believers and church goers and one, Di. has accepted Christ but often waivers about whether she would go to heaven if she were to die.  She struggles with the idea that living a sinless life is key for her to get into heaven.  She strives to "win" her salvation, is hurt, and while she has heard the true gospel and how only Jesus can take away her sins, she struggles to believe that He is just that good…  And, the other ladies often remind her of ways that she falls short.  After a basic study on the church and Jesus being the head of it and we believers being the body, we get into a discussion about sin and the holy spirit and loss of salvation.  It comes up pretty naturally and shows the comfort that exists even with me there.  Sin is pointed out.  Beliefs are shared.  God has His hand there. With open discussion and healthy disagreement over what the Word says., we are all challenged to read our Bibles more.  D. says, "I'm going to talk to my pastor and find where it says that… I really want to take the next 4 years to read through the Bible."  She hasn't done that before.  I am hopeful that studying the Bible will become a life-long passion of hers.  God is moving in her and giving her the desire to read and know the Word for herself.

I leave the group of ladies and watch a missionary friend, Christine, jumping around joyfully being chased by such tiny and energetic children. She laughs.  I appreciate her and her daughter and friend who are building relationship and loving me and the children through their work on Thursdays while I'm giving Bible Studies.

I run out of the Mak School where I have been up in the library organizing things.  I don't want to miss the van of Chichigua kids who are headed home.  It's a little after 2:00. They've just gotten out of school. The van of kids is parked outside of the school waiting for everyone to load up.  About twenty little ones, from 4 years old to 4th grade are packed in, waiting on the last few stragglers and ready to leave and get home.  Everyone is chatting. Some are holding artwork in their hands.  Others have homework.  Older siblings are looking out to make sure their younger siblings have arrived.  The noise level is pretty high. And then, the door closes and we head down the gravel driveway, through Tamarindo, out of Montellano.  The heat slowly escapes the van and the fresh breeze from outside fills it. Thank goodness for open windows! Most are quiet. It's been a long day...

It's a Friday.  I've been asked, along with all of the other Makarios teachers, to go to a movie.  It's the first time that I can remember that I've been asked to hang out for something informal and fun.  It's a hard decision.  The movie starts at 9:30 (yes at night).  So, I say yes and make sure to take a 2-hour nap before getting on the full bus of 25 people to head to see a Dominican movie.  I've always known that the culture is a late night one, but I think it hits me more since I've moved to Montellano.  People tend to go to church at night most nights, eat dinner after church (which at the earliest would be 8:30), roam the streets, visit friends and play dominoes until the wee hours of the night.  If I want to build relationship, adjusting my schedule a bit is necessary.

It's the weekend around 7:00pm.  I pull up to Chichigua in Jenna's car and so many little and old faces are staring at me confused.  Others, screaming my name.  Excited to see me and yet puzzled as to why I would be in their community at dusk, they just stare.  I've come to pick up two teenage girls who God has pulled me towards.  R. and F.  R.  and I spent another Saturday afternoon together just a couple of weeks ago walking along the water near the fort in Puerto Plata.  Tonight though, I came to pick her and her friend up to go to Youth Group at my church.  They are the youngest there since they are only 15, but it is good for them.  A game of Simon Says, a few worship songs, a sermon about Psalm 19… they enjoyed doing something different… and then as we leave we hear the blaring of another church service that is happening outside at the baseball field.  Listen to the worship.  Watch the dancing.  God is praised in so many ways.  And I see people from Makarios … teachers and kids.  Hugs and kisses on the cheek.  One teacher, G., is dancing for the Lord, pure joy in her face.  Another group of Makarios teachers are serving at the event.  I'm proud of the strong dominican leaders that I have serving alongside me.

I'm just waking up from a nap.  Jenna and Kaylee (my other roomate) have just gotten home from school.  It's my day to catch up and prepare for the other days this week both at school and in the community.  I usually go to Chichigua today for reading with S., but she cancelled because of a doctor's appointment.  So, it's been a good catching up day.  Tomorrow through Friday, I will get up early and head to school until 2:00 and then to Chichigua for Bible Study and discipleship on two of those days.  Wednesday this week is a community visit to Poncho Mateo.  

My life lately seems to resemble our garden and more in particular that tomato plant.  I've seen some small fruit, I think as a result of consistency and building relationship and just being… and there are areas where I just have to figure out another way adjust what I'm doing. But, as always, God remains good.  I am so thankful to be able to see glimpses of progress and small fruits after having been here for such a short time.

I appreciate your continued prayers and support:

  • Tomorrow, Tuesday, I start working with my kids who need reading help.  After 4 weeks of school, I finally have a schedule and will be working with kids in small groups or individually. Please pray for a positive start!  I am working with some of the kids from last year and some new kids.
  • Next weekend, I will be going down south to celebrate a friend's birthday, see a former Wesleyan student, and give a workshop at Emanuel House on some reading resources that were donated to them.  Please pray that this time would be fruitful and that God would keep me safe as I travel by bus down there.
  • May I continue to find peace and be patient, knowing that God has a plan in all situations.  May I be an encouragement to those around me, in my school and in my community.  May I love, have compassion, and give grace in a similar way that God loves, has compassion and gives grace to me.  



Friday, August 19, 2016

Good Good Father

Three years ago in July, I moved to the Dominican Republic.  I had tears in my eyes at times because I was leaving a school and community that I loved.  I was leaving friends who had helped me grow in my faith and family that I had never lived so far away from.  

One year ago this month, I moved my things to Montellano a town 5 1/2 hours north of Quisqueya, where I had lived for two years.  I remember having tears in my eyes on the way to the States four days later because everything had been new, the people looked and talked differently, and I saw ahead of me a big change.   And, while I knew that I was following my Father's lead, I was unsure how it would all work out.  Committed to being obedient to the Lord, seeing His hand in all the steps of the decision to move, and trusting fully... I had dropped off my stuff, attended a few days of orientation at Makarios, and was headed back to the States for Missionary Training in Colorado.

Two months later, I returned... still quite emotional and needing rest. I was trying to get emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy again.

And God gave me 2 months to ease into this new life.  I was here, able to be in quiet and concentrating on having Sabbath, grieving losses, resting my body and getting  excited about the future.

As I continue to think about God's goodness since August of last year, I'm reminded of all of the changes that I have been through in just 12 months.   

So many adjustments.  

So many moving parts. 

And naturally with change comes fear, and doubt, and anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. And as I reflect on all of the changes and adjustments, it is SO easy to see that God is good, and that He is present and that He knows everything that His children need.  There are so many reasons to praise Him and shout for joy as I reflect on all that my Father has done to provide, protect, and take care of His daughter.  

Oh, He is a good good father!

Matthew 7:9-11.
Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 

Some of the changes that I've experienced over the last year:

  • moving to the northern side of the island where culture, climate, language and comforts are different
  • and living in between two popular tourist towns
  • living with American roommates after having lived with a Dominican for 2 years
  • adjusting to a new role as a reading specialist and member of the community outreach team
  • starting to learn Kreyòl and building relationships that way in the Haitian communities
  • building relationships with the Makarios staff and missionaries 
  • mentoring and guiding a Makarios intern for the first time 
  • missing old friends and learning how to love old friends well from the south of the island and in the States
  • learning to balance ministry time with down time and Sabbath
  • learning to take care of myself physically, emotionally and spiritually 
  • beginning an alternate certification class at the local university in Education
  • participating in a new church and seeking future ministry opportunities

In Exodus after the Israelites left Egypt, where they had been surviving in a place of slavery and treated unfairly because of their cultural status, they praised God for their being freed from slavery. They confronted the Red Sea with Pharaoh and his army behind them, and their Father was with them and parted the waters.  They had no water to drink, and their Father produced water out of a rock. They were hungry and God sent them just what they needed, manna from Heaven.  They were in danger and He fought for them.  What a perfect father that they had!  

God does not change.  

He is the same all-knowing, protective, loving, providing and ever-present Father that took care of the Israelites as they left Egypt as He is our Father today if we have been adopted into His family.  I praise God for allowing me to remember who He is and what He has done for me and those around me in the past 12 months.  




(having trouble seeing a clear video?  Click Here.)



To God be the glory forever and ever.  AMEN!





Tuesday, July 19, 2016

War and Waiting

a few weeks ago...right before some vacation

I think about this a lot… and a lot lately.  What does it mean to live for God's glory?  What does it mean to be a missionary or put God first or to be a Christ follower?  The thoughts that go through my mind regularly make me doubt, fear, and wonder sometimes what am I doing here and am I doing this right?  

Are we doing this right?

Do others see and hear our love for Christ and our love for others?

I want to get to the end of my life and look back and be able to hear God tell me, "well done."  I want to look back on the last year and realize that nothing got in the way, I wasn't distracted, I was focused on Him through it all. Even the last week, the last day, the last hour.  I don't want to wake up and realize that I did this life wrong....that others didn't see Him through me.

And then, I wonder sometimes, "Is spiritual warfare real?"  

(Of course it is! I know!) 

We see in movies people making light of voodoo as the fantastical spiritual bad person.  Or there always being a wicked witch or scheming other that is always thinking about destruction and hurting those who are good. I think about that sometimes as I step out of Montellano for a few days and realize that I am always in my head.  I am always in my head.  The thoughts that go through my head, the doubts the questions… they don't all bring God glory… and sometimes they just make me stay still… kind of like I am paralyzed… and I do nothing. 

That's what makes me know that YES spiritual warfare is real.  The devil doesn't like what we are doing if we really are following the Lord, spreading His word, sharing His love with others, the devil does not like that.  He knows our weaknesses, our fears, our doubts and he feeds on them, and sometimes we take our eyes off of what God says and we feel more weak, more fearful, more doubtful until we are in a slump.  

Meanwhile, we continue walking through life, doing what God has called us to do in some sense, but our eyes are not completely on Him.  We concentrate on circumstance or we're consumed by our doubt or fears.  So, the devil thinks he won… 

Until we get a break, a moment, a vacation or even a friend who talks and prays with us, or a sermon and we get to step back and realize that those thoughts that have been all in our head, the questioning, the doubting, the fearing… it's not from God.  

Because we know that where we are weak, God is strong!  We know that God does not give us a spirit of fear and timidity but one of power… We know that there is nothing to doubt or even question about God because if we are focused on Him and reading His Word and not distracted, we will see that He is real, He is present, and He loves His children.  And we would not just repeat those words but believe them.  We would not be scared about the future and the what-ifs.  We would not be overwhelmed by the situations around us, but would be on our knees praying for them and meeting together to encourage one another.  We would remember that there is a war going on.  We would know by reading about what He has done in the past for others in the Bible, those around us and then by remembering what He's done for us, that while we wait God is working.  He sees.  We would remember that God is being patient not wanting anyone to perish.  He has brought us out of Egypt so many times.  He already knows what will happen.  He already knows.  He's got this.

And our focus is set straight again.  Not on circumstances or hard days, not on fears about the future, nor problems with those around us, but our focus is put back on Him.  We're in the Word more, praying and listening as we walk.  Then, walking while still not easy, becomes more manageable and less overwhelming.  Not doubting, not fearing not questioning… not so in our heads or against each other.  Because we realize that there is one who wants to destroy us... destroy Him.  But walking around us, with us...is God's army. God is fighting off the devil, giving us the words, working through us.  He's already won!

And we breathe.

And we find ourselves again living for His glory not because anything has changed in what we are doing, but because our eyes are focused again.

And then we remember what it means to be a Christian... to be a Christ follower, a little Christ, a missionary, the light in this dark world. And His light shines even more through us.

my prayer requests then...

Please come alongside me and pray for any area that is out of focus to focus again.  Please pray for physical, spiritual and emotional health.  Please, please pray for me to have balance in my life -- time at home, time out in the communities, and time spent filling up and doing fun things with the people around me.  Pray for these last weeks of VBS with pre-teens and for my time in the States.  I'll be headed back for two weeks on July 31st!  (First Atlanta and then Florida).

knowing what I know now...
And, I am praying for those struggling with the same war that exists in all parts of this dark world.  Praying that we may focus on God and in seeing the hope in Him, that we may be a light to all of those around us.  

May He have the glory!

He is waiting!