Wandering. Waiting. Hoping.

I know.  It's been way too long since I've written.  I will try to do better.  I have thought about writing many times and just don't find the words.  

This season has been a hard one.  And so, I write in the last few hours of the lenten season.  I write about the struggles, the waiting, the wilderness and the hope that I know will come.  I hope that this blog -- while written in the middle of a pandemic, a time when we are unsure of tomorrow, and a time of waiting -- will be one with which you can relate and that will serve to remind us that sometimes while there is wilderness, we must cling to our hope in God.   

My first semester ended well. I was able to have a get together in Atlanta in November for supporters and reflect on the work that God had done while I was in the Dominican, providing me with closure and the time to express my gratitude to some of my supporters.  I still am at awe at all who have walked with me through my time serving abroad. 

Likewise, at the end of the semester, I felt grateful to God for helping me adjust to being a student again.  I earned good grades, made a few friends, and survived my first semester back in the States. 

My first Spanish class (Spanish Grammar and Syntax) that I taught at Gordon College (pictured above) was a success as well! Overall, my first semester was a reminder of God's continued presence in my life and as always, His strength in my weakness.

Probably the biggest highlight of my first semester that helped me adapt back to the U.S. was being a part of the Pierce Fellowship Program, a discipleship / spiritual formation program that teaches us how to care for other Gordon-Conwell students spiritually.  To the left is my Soul Care group, with whom I continue to meet once a week.  





In December, I spent a week in Florida and returned to the Dominican where I was able to give a workshop at Makarios, reflecting what I'd learned about the Old Testament. I spent time with Makariosy friends, surprised my friends in Chichigua, saw Mirqueya, spent an afternoon with the Bible study girls, and enjoyed sunshine and the beach before returning back to snowy Massachussets.  

Returning was hard, not because I was back in the States nor because I was grieving the DR, but because it was like God opened my eyes to all of the brokenness around here that exists.  I started feeling the "American brokenness" that I hadn't felt or been so close to in a long time. I was made aware of some of the injustices that have occurred in this country over the last 6 years.  I was reminded of the brokenness in families, the hurt, hatred and misunderstandings between races, the divisiveness in politics, and my own sinfulness when placed around technology, busy-ness and so much stuff.  I also became highly aware of my brown skin.  (I no longer blend in like in the D.R.) 

I had no bad experiences personally, but I would say that the overwhelming compassion and mercy felt for those who have been experiencing it all, thinking about the broken relationships, all while not yet knowing my place in my church or here at seminary, has been emotionally draining.

In fact, during the first two months of 2020, I said multiple times, "I've entered into a time of wilderness. I'm feeling all of the brokenness around me.  And I don't know what to do with it. I don't have community here yet." I also found myself thinking a lot about the future:  "God, what are you going to do with me after this?  I know that I'm in the right place. But, I don't fit yet.  I'm trying to just take one day at a time, but God, I need your help."   

Waiting.

Various times throughout this semester, my eyes have turned to the experience of the Israelites in the wilderness and their response to their time wandering.  They often responded by doubting, grumbling, wanting to go back to slavery, and with idolatry.  They were impatient and forgetful of God's character, His promises, and what He had done for them before.  I see myself in them.  Even though I personally have experienced God in amazing ways and do believe that what He says in His Word is true, I forget.

Over and over again, I have prayed to trust Him in the wilderness. 

I stumble.

He helps me.

So I keep going. I keep studying.  I keep being intentional with people.  I keep teaching.  I keep praying.  I keep going even though I don't know what the future holds.  My hope is in Him after all, not in the things I don't understand, the people who I don't agree with, the unknown future, the constant change, the grades, nor in the brokenness.  

My hope is in God alone. 

I have no reason to fear the present nor the future -- for God is in control. 

I have no reason to feel alone -- for He is present.  


I am, indeed, grateful.  

God has helped me find a church. Even though I don't have deep community there yet, He has led me to a place that has a mission to reach the North Shore for the Gospel and values discipleship, justice and being a light in this area where less than 3% of people are Christian.  I believe that I will be challenged there and this will be a growing season.

God has sent me a neighbor, Stephanie, who has prayed with me and for me every week, and has been a shoulder to cry on when I feel the heaviness of the brokenness around me.

God has given me 4 professors who love the Lord and are passionate about Greek, Church History, the New Testament and New Testament Exegesis. Classes are hard, but the difficulty has forced me to pray to God for His help and His strength. 


And then, about a month ago, everything changed.  In the midst of an already hard season, it got harder.  

Coronavirus forced me, like everyone else, to take classes (and teach) online.  

More change.

More unknown.

More wilderness.

More brokenness.

More weakness.

Still not knowing how to help.

And I find myself with a choice: to be like the Israelites in the wilderness and doubt God, turn to idols, worry, and complain.  Or, I can turn to God,  face the brokenness, tell Him my pain, ask Him for wisdom, and trust Him to be the same unchanging and faithful God that He has always been.  

After all, I am His daughter who has been justified by faith and who has peace with God through Jesus Christ.  I am His daughter who can rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  I am His daughter who can rejoice in my sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not put me to shame.  I am His daughter who believes that God's love has been poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit who has been given to me.

So, on this Easter eve, I pray that you, like me, while feeling the pain in the midst of our situations, may also remember God  loves you, is faithful and is present!  May you trust and find your hope in Him alone.

May God continue to bless all of those who still read this, support my time at Gordon Conwell, and pray for me. 

Feeling God's Presence in Transition

It's been 2 months since I arrived in the States.  I've gone through a good bit of transition in that time, and will probably continue to go through transition for the next few months.  But today, I find myself sitting in a recently furnished studio-apartment at the seminary in Boston's North Shore where hopefully, I will live for the next 3 years.  I am grateful for time of travel and rest and now, to be getting settled into my new "home."

I spent the month of August with family and friends, had a little bit of counseling, and enjoyed a sabbath week at a lake house in Missouri with a missionary friend. Spending time in God's creation, catching up with family, reading God's Word, and cooking were some of my highlights during that month before eventually driving 20 hours to New England.

Many people ask me how I am doing with the culture shock.  Overall, I'm doing fine, not really realizing that I've been away for so long... and sometimes thinking that the "culture shock thing" doesn't even apply to me.

...until I find myself in a roundabout and forget which country I am in and what the roundabout rules are,

or until I go into the grocery store to find a stick of butter and then remember everything comes in bulk here,

or until I realize that I look different again, not like in the Dominican where my brown skin blended in with everyone else's around me.

Oh!  And then I remember about time.  Being on time means being early here. I need to be on time.

Oh yes! Americans are efficient  (and busy, busy, busy).

Oh, and I forgot... people eat dinner before 9 o'clock at night here.  I have to remember that when I have someone over for dinner.

(Oh yes, and I just discovered this past week that vending machines don't require cash anymore.  That was a shock! Who knew that I could use a credit card to buy a pack of potato chips?)

Sometimes, I find my mind, my emotions, and my body just tired. Other times I feel quite normal and am up for the hours of studying and preparation for class.

Before moving to this area, I was encouraged to embrace the idea of having "grace" with myself during this time of transition and was reminded in one moment of tears, that God has grace with me... so I should have grace with myself as well.  After all, God is not looking at me in this season shaking His head, but instead He has His arm on my shoulder and His face?  Smiling, I'm sure, at my courage to take this step.  (This point has helped me tremendously not to become too overwhelmed as I forge ahead into this new season while still adjusting to life in the States.)

God is with me and I feel His presence every day.

And, those "culture shock" moments are not my every moment by any means.  They are difficult because they sneak up on me when I least expect them, and they remind me that my passport country has not been my "home" for quite a while and that I did not grow up in northeastern United States.  Many days, I am reminded that I have changed and that I see the world a bit differently than I did before.

I'm still getting used to the New England weather which has ranged from between the low 40s and the low 80s since I've arrived here.  And yes, I am still a bit fearful of the weather between November and May.  I've been told to enjoy the sun because I won't see much of it again until July.  God help me!

And of course, there is so much to enjoy!  I have enjoyed my hot showers, the ease of washing clothes, and coffee creamer always being at the grocery store!  I've enjoyed eating vegetables like squash and brussel sprouts, the strong water pressure, and asiago bagels.  I'm looking forward to watching the leaves change and going apple-picking this fall.  The beaches and trails have been a great way to spend some of the warmer days as well.

I am adjusting.

I am not looking quite as long at the coins when I have to give someone change. I have finally stopped using GPS to go to the places I most often frequent, and I'm not caught off-guard quite as often when I hear the very distinct Boston accent.  (Did you know that a carriage is what you use in a grocery store and that there are city names that look like they would be pronounced in 3-syllables but are instead pronounced in only 2? For example, the city Gloucester "glah- che- ster" is actually pronounced "glah-ster.")  I don't hesitate quite as long before using water from the sink to cook, and I'm remembering more and more that I can flush the toilet tissue down the toilet here.

And over the last 2 months, I have seen over and over again that God is faithful.

God is Jehovah Jireh, my provider.

Various friends and family members have helped make the transition to Gordon-Conwell smoother with generous financial donations, prayers, and provision of things that I need.  I could become very overwhelmed by all that I have to get and do in order to live here and be warm.  But, I have seen Jehovah Jireh abundantly in the family and friends who have remembered me in this process.  I am more than grateful for the generosity and prayers.

In my first week of being in the States, as I travelled, I received a phone call which turned into an informal interview, a conversation in Spanish, and then eventually, a formal interview with Gordon College (which is located just 5 minutes away from the seminary's campus).  I got a job as an Adjunct professor and have been teaching a Spanish class there for a month now.  I have a class of 15 students who God has placed in front of me to pray for, encourage and challenge in their faith. (Oh yes, and I get to help them improve their writing and grammar skills in Spanish!) Getting this job was a miracle and has been a true blessing thus far, as I truly love teaching and being able to use my Spanish.

God sees me and knows what I need.
I had been in the States just two days when I received a message from a former Makarios intern telling me that her husband studies at Gordon-Conwell and that they live on campus.  My heart jumped!  I remember thinking, "Really? I will know someone when I get there?"  I thought I was moving to a place where I didn't know a soul.  But God knew what I needed to help make for a more smooth transition.  Sarah and her husband have been angels sent by God, letting me stay with them the first week in the area before my apartment was ready, helping me put together IKEA furniture, and patiently listening to stories about the Dominican as I process the change!  They've taught me so much about how we should love each other as part of the body of Christ -- selflessly and joyfully.

God encourages me through the community of believers here.
Orientation at Gordon-Conwell was a breath of fresh air with the highlight being a "dessert with the faculty."  Since I am a scholarship student, I was invited to go to the president's home and had the opportunity to meet both him and his wife.  As a group of about 15, we spent 2.5 hours sharing our stories, how God has been working in our lives, and how we arrived at the seminary. Being among former youth ministry leaders, men from Africa and India, former missionary kids, a Biblical languages scholar, and not to mention the president who has a heart for missions, I began to feel incredibly honored and humbled to be a part of this community.  For the first time, in the midst of so much change, I began to feel excited about this next step.  The people in that room have already become some with whom I have shared more meals and deeper conversations.  I am excited to see how God will continue to build community, deepen relationships and cultivate life-long friendships and ministry partners in my time here.

The next day, I walked away enamored by the passion with which two professors shared an overview of the Bible in just three hours.  I was once again encouraged by their love for God and His Word and by their passion for teaching others to understand it.  I am currently in one of the professor's Old Testament classes where I will be challenged to teach the overview of the Old Testament to a group of people outside of the seminary.

That weekend before classes started, I participated in a retreat through the Pierce Center for Discipleship.  We spent a day learning more about the fellowship that I will be a part of -- which focuses on spiritual formation and leading a group of women in "soul care."  After having lived in the Dominican Republic if I understand anything, it is the need to spend time listening to God and to have friends who pray for and with you.

God reminds me that He alone is God.
He reminds me to have an eternal perspective. I have heard rumors since I've been here of how seminary is stressful and anxiety-ridden.  I've heard that students can fall into the trap of being so concentrated on their studies that they lose sight of God and the people around them.  It makes me sad as I see the temptation to make these studies more important than the relationship with the One who makes the studies possible.   I see the temptation to strive for perfection or to put studies above people. As I've been reading the Old Testament, God has reminded me of the Israelites constantly making idols and fixing their eyes on everything else but God.  And, I am reminded of the need for Sabbath and daily time with Him, remembering that He along is God!

And so, those moments when I begin to feel overwhelmed by all of the "new" around me, I thank God for His overwhelming presence.  When I am confused and I don't know if I can memorize all of the new Greek vocabulary words and cases, I thank God that when I am weak He is strong!  I thank Him for classmates who "get it" and a TA who is willing to help.  When my body is tired, I thank God for providing me rest.  And, when I am missing the Dominican and my friends and family there, I thank God for my experiences there and for the people that He has already placed around me in this community here - some who know what it's like to live abroad.

Overall, I am doing well!  I would love your continued prayer, and hope that you will continue to follow me on this journey as God prepares me for future ministry.

PLEASE PRAY:

• Classes began about 3 weeks ago.  This semester I have a full plate along with teaching at Gordon College. I am taking 4 classes -- Old Testament Survey, Greek I, Church History to the Reformation, and Spiritual Formation.  Each class has a lot of reading -- typically about 1500 pages per class.  Please pray for me as I have been out of school for many, many years!  Figuring out rhythms for studying is a new challenge.
• Finding a church family is an exciting but challenging time. Where will God lead me?  There are lots of churches here -- many pastored by Gordon-Conwell graduates.  Many are different than the types of churches that I am used to.  Please pray that God would open my eyes to where I should settle into a local church with sound doctrine, a close-knit community, and opportunities to serve.   
• May God help me to have an eternal perspective. May I take care of my deep need to be with my Father first. May I do the best that I can in my studies and love well the people around me!

MARK YOUR CALENDARS. In the early evening on Sunday, November 10, there will be a Dominican celebration / reflection in Atlanta of what God has done through me in the Dominican Republic and an update about where I think He is leading.  The event will be a way for me to bring closure to my time there and to say "thank you" to all who have journeyed with me thus far.  I would love all of my Atlanta-area supporters to attend, if possible.  I will post / send a formal invite soon.

Why Seminary?

As promised, here is my letter sent out to supporters about why I have stopped ministry in the D.R. for this season.  I appreciate your continued support and prayers while I am in this time of transition.

Just a couple of days ago, I arrived in the States and will be spending the next month disconnecting, resting and reflecting before starting seminary in early September.  Please continue to pray for me that I may "stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured" (Colossians 4:12), and that I will trust that "He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus"  Philippians 1:6.

(letter written June 2019)                                  

Dear 

Over the last 6 years while serving in the Dominican, I have grown in my faith, in my biblical knowledge, and in my understanding of missions. God has given me confidence to share with others about the hope that I find only in Him, He has given me a deep passion for discipling girls and women, and He has grown me in my own understanding of my identity and calling. I believe that along with the call to be in ministry full time He has also challenged me to know the Bible better than I currently do.

I am excited to announce that after much prayer, I have applied for and been accepted into the Masters of Divinity program with a concentration in World Missions at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Gordon-Conwell’s vision is “to equip leaders to think theologically, live biblically, and serve globally.” In God’s abundance, I have also been offered a merit scholarship which will cover the majority of my tuition. With the scholarship comes a commitment on my part to study full-time and live on campus.

As you can imagine, while I am excited for the opportunity to get filled up and to study the Bible, and while I know that this step is necessary in my growth as a missionary, I am also saddened and overwhelmed by the upcoming changes. The Dominican Republic has now become my home and my normal. Yet, while change is uncomfortable, I desire nothing more than to be in God’s will and follow His lead. He is in control. He is my provider. He is my father. And so, in faith, I take this step knowing that He goes with me.

I am more than grateful for all of you who have been committed members of my support team over the last 6 years. God has done so much through us both in Quisqueya and here in Montellano, and I hope that in August I will be able to invite you to a special celebration in order to reflect on all that He has done.

God is working! Just this past month, we finished the third cycle of literacy where we celebrated the reading advancement of 9 women who a year ago did not even know how to write their names. The program will continue with a new leader next fall. Additionally, I, along with the rest of the Family Empowerment team, just finished our second full year serving the Makarios families, building relationships with the local churches, and loving, educating and empowering parents through evangelism, discipleship, workshops on parenting, marriage and sex, leadership trainings, and biblical counseling. The ministry will continue to flourish, as the team has plans for more Adult Education classes, a more developed Biblical Counseling program, and increased partnerships with the local churches.

So, what’s next for me? Lord willing, I will spend the next two weeks helping with VBS and evaluating the Family Empowerment program; and the next month spending time with Makarios families, visiting friends in Quisqueya and Santo Domingo, and selling my belongings. My official last day as a Makarios missionary is July 15. I hope to spend the last two weeks in July having Sabbath in country by reflecting on all that God has been doing since I moved to the island in 2013. I will spend August in the States resting before moving to South Hamilton, Massachusetts in early September.

And after seminary?

Only God knows. It’s a scary step of faith that I am taking, but God is giving me the courage to step off of the field to become better equipped to serve Him. My hope is to maintain relationships with Makarios staff and families during my time in Seminary by visiting and serving during breaks from school. Once I graduate, I hope to serve again overseas. While I cannot completely see the future, I know that God has gifted me to be in ministry long-term, and I believe I will continue to serve in missions, and who knows — maybe even back in the Dominican Republic. Wherever he leads, I hope that with the Biblical knowledge and spiritual growth acquired in seminary, I will be even better equipped to serve the Church.

What should you do about your monthly donation?

Makarios will allow me to have 3 months of pay after I leave the Dominican to help me financially during my transitional period. I will receive any donations made to Makarios on my behalf through October 15. Your donations through this time are greatly appreciated! Your donations will be used for travel back to the States, Sabbath, debriefing, and my transition into seminary. **Any donations given on my behalf after October 15 will be used at Makarios’ discretion. To stop donations, please call the Makarios Austin Office at (512) 589-9018.

What if you want to continue supporting Makarios?

If you desire to continue to support Makarios after October 15, I encourage you to do so by switching your monthly or quaterly donation to support the Family Empowerment Ministry whose vision is to see families transformed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to have parents who are ethical leaders, capable of influencing their communities. You can do so by calling the number above to switch your support.

How can you continue to support me while I am in seminary?

• PRAYER. I value you as a part of my team! Please pray for me both during my transition period and once classes are in full swing. I will update my blog with prayer requests and updated information about what God is teaching me!

• GIVING. If you would like to support me financially while at seminary, that would be an incredible and unexpected blessing! While I have been awarded a tuition scholarship, I still have to pay for books and living expenses. Since I believe that God has called me into long-term ministry, I will be working and doing all I can to graduate without debt. If you would like to help, you can give a non- tax deductible gift to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary on my behalf. 

• Checks should be made out to Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and my student ID Number 212057 should be included in the memo . Please mail checks to: Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, 130 Essex Street, South Hamilton, MA 01982. All gifts will be deposited into my student account.

• If you wish to give online, go to: https://gordonconwell.aford.com/PPT/MakeAPayment (Just make sure to put my name: Adrienne Christian / Student ID Number: 212057 / Hamilton Campus)

If you have any questions or would like to know more, please feel free to email me at acorinnechristian@gmail.com.

God bless you, and may the peace of God fill you always!
Adrienne Christian